Sunday, August 8, 2010
Desire
For anybody that has ever known one Rick Steele, they will testify that a certain pretentious restlessness is voiced. At times, Rick will say that this restlessness make up much up the winds that take to his sails. And while this can be philosophized till Rick turns to dust; philosophy will not do much in replacing restlessness with peace. And ultimately the majority of human begins...including this Rick Steele is after peace of heart. Kabir, an Indian Mystic poet, put it this way: "I laugh when I hear the fish in the sea are thirsty".-taken from the book THE WISE HEART.
Comparing three years ago to today, observations would show that in the modern day American culture, Rick's life has had dramatic turns that would likely cause some range of neurotic restlessness in most. 3 years ago, Rick lived in a marriage that appeared to be headed till death did him part. This marriage took place in a brand new town home that had been bought by the two involved in this marriage. Over 2000 square feet to roam in along with three playful felines. A festive time and much of the "american dream". Rick had recently finished his Graduate program, gotten his LPC license and obtained employment at a local community clinic. Together the two married individuals brought in enough cheddar to feed a mouse village in desert for an entire lifetime! Rick's extended family was supportive of his endeavors and communicated support for a vision that they possessed. Annie Dillard reminds us that "There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by".
Shortly after this period of history, Rick found himself in the middle of the facts of life. Smack dab in the realities that death is a part of life. First-the death of a dream...The marriage crumbled and went into the mystery of the universe. Rick's father passed to dust from a ten year battle with health related short comings of the human body. The cozy house turned into a small womb of an apartment. The cats were left to enliven the life of one half of the spirits that had united in marriage. Rick's possessions now fit into whatever could be crammed into small spaces in both Rick's heart and physical space of rent. The death of Rick's Extended family was had in part because of paradigms and pride.
Along the way, Rick become friendly with affairs of the heart and loneliness. A combination that does not sit kindly with restlessness.
To shorten this tale, we skip to where what has been labeled "restlessness" led Rick to Colorado. Now surrounding Rick's vision this morning is unemployment, the shelter of a bedroom and scattered possessions. And now Rick works to get back to laughing at the fact that fish always have water.
Comparing three years ago to today, observations would show that in the modern day American culture, Rick's life has had dramatic turns that would likely cause some range of neurotic restlessness in most. 3 years ago, Rick lived in a marriage that appeared to be headed till death did him part. This marriage took place in a brand new town home that had been bought by the two involved in this marriage. Over 2000 square feet to roam in along with three playful felines. A festive time and much of the "american dream". Rick had recently finished his Graduate program, gotten his LPC license and obtained employment at a local community clinic. Together the two married individuals brought in enough cheddar to feed a mouse village in desert for an entire lifetime! Rick's extended family was supportive of his endeavors and communicated support for a vision that they possessed. Annie Dillard reminds us that "There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by".
Shortly after this period of history, Rick found himself in the middle of the facts of life. Smack dab in the realities that death is a part of life. First-the death of a dream...The marriage crumbled and went into the mystery of the universe. Rick's father passed to dust from a ten year battle with health related short comings of the human body. The cozy house turned into a small womb of an apartment. The cats were left to enliven the life of one half of the spirits that had united in marriage. Rick's possessions now fit into whatever could be crammed into small spaces in both Rick's heart and physical space of rent. The death of Rick's Extended family was had in part because of paradigms and pride.
Along the way, Rick become friendly with affairs of the heart and loneliness. A combination that does not sit kindly with restlessness.
To shorten this tale, we skip to where what has been labeled "restlessness" led Rick to Colorado. Now surrounding Rick's vision this morning is unemployment, the shelter of a bedroom and scattered possessions. And now Rick works to get back to laughing at the fact that fish always have water.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Life is to be lived...let us not forget
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose.
I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze.
'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.
She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'
'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.
We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and expe rience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.
She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.
I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, 'We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those withregrets.'
She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that
it's never too late to be all you can possibly be
I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose.
I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze.
'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.
She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'
'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.
We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and expe rience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.
She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.
I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, 'We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those withregrets.'
She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that
it's never too late to be all you can possibly be
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Tension of opposites
June 1 2010
Trickster figures are very well known in my life. Many of the interesting figures I have followed in my lifetime for me in this world would fall into this category. From the numerous comedians (in my opinion the modern version of the story tellers that were probably considered heretics in past generations) to folk singers who tell a tale of possibility and give messages of change in various forms to the voices arising from politics and even the local Non-profit leaders. My generation has made whole industries originating from trickster figures. Much of the Internet, entertainment industry and the “Me” (as Time magazine so effectively made Man of the year a few short years ago) generation(s) are made up of figures that are modern trickster figures.
I watched a documentary on Gonzo journalist Hunter Thompson today. There were depictions of Trickster figures everywhere throughout the video and especially his life. The baby boom generation must have needed a myriad of powerful and well defined trickster figures. The 60’s and 70’s in the western hemisphere have been depicted as such a turbulent time of much needed changes for generations to come.
Very…and I mean…very…generally trickster figures are the deity breaker of the rules of the gods or nature, sometimes maliciously (for example, Loki) but usually, albeit unintentionally, with ultimately positive effects. Often, the rule-breaking takes the form of tricks (e.g. Eris) or thievery. Tricksters can be cunning or foolish or both; they are often funny even when considered sacred or performing important cultural tasks.
I am no different. For the majority of individuals that have known me intimately in some capacity of my life, I am a trickster figure of sorts…thus the name of this Blog (sirmockalot). I feel it coursing through my veins. I identify with it and ultimately this term will go down as a powerful archetype for my life…often bordering on destruction, but always present for changes and what I have perceived as miracles of change in my existence.
With that being said I sit in what depth psychology or whoever coined the term…holding the tension of opposites phase of my life. I am most joyful for being in Colorado, but have current fears that the changes that are needed to make this move happen aren’t happening quick enough to survive the move.
Many of my world witnessed my last few years. I had many struggles as we all do. But as I was leaving Houston, I had many areas of my life going the ways that I would want. However as a typical trickster figure usually does, I rolled the dice and changed the rules of my life. I moved to Denver. This was partially done for preservation sake and partially done as an example to my world that I would not sit in any area of my life without total freedom to pick my path. I was beginning to pick up steam as a therapist in preaching to whoever crossed my path to go for whatever someone felt was a path calling them. The same could be said for individuals surrounding my life.
So far the trip has been pretty much what I imagined. I have caught up with old friends, spent countless hours both enjoying and being healed by nature, stopped for a moment my world from spinning with modern responsibilities and mostly felt the freest I have ever felt in life. But the move has also come with a trip to the underworld of uneasiness and uncertainty. I live with limited savings that separate me from homelessness. I sit with pains of loss and grief that continue to bite at my psyche. I sit with breaking down the majority of ideas that were taught to me from a little kid about security of family, employment and finances. I sit with the unknown. This has been hard for someone that was always taught to be responsible and make a better future for oneself…after all this is the painted American dream landscape right. And after all I have spent 37 years in school and making sacrifices to create stability and have the “American Dream”. You get the picture…I love being back in Colorado, but it has come with sacrifice and a shadow side.
I was sitting here thinking what was the message I desired to give in the first actual blog that I have ever written? I have set the picture for you….for the slow ones…or confused due to my ADHD style of writing….! I am a trickster figure in need of understanding my own changes instead of attempting to making changes in my environment through my (usually) trickster ways. In pondering this today, I came across a story that might be good to tell….for it has given me hope for tonight.
What I ran across was part of the story of Psyche. Properly for this story and my life, psyche is the Greek word for soul. It's also the Greek word for butterfly. Again very briefly, one version behind the story of Psyche is PSYKHE (or Psyche) was the goddess of the soul, wife of Eros the god of love. She was once a mortal princess whose astounding beauty earned the ire of Aphrodite when men turned their worship from goddess to girl. Aphrodite commanded Eros make Psykhe fall in love with the most hideous of men, but the god himself fell in love with her and carried her away to his secret palace. However Eros hid his true identity, and commanded her never to look upon his face. Psykhe was eventually tricked by her jealous sisters into gazing upon the face of god, and he abandoned her. In her despair, she searched throughout the world for her lost love, and eventually came into the service of Aphrodite. The goddess commanded her perform a series of difficult labours which culminated in a journey to the Underworld. In the end Psykhe was reunited with Eros and the couple wed in a ceremony attended by the gods.
I want to focus on part of Psyche’s journey to the underworld. Before psyche goes to the underworld, she plans on throwing herself off a high tower in order to fulfill one of the acts that Aphrodite has commanded her to do…which was to go to the underworld. Remembering that Psyche is doing on of this for the love of Eros…as I am making this move for the love of both freedom and Colorado. Psyche figured that the only way she knew to travel to the underworld was to kill herself. Long story short, the tower informs Psyche that there is another way. After instructing psyche of the way, the tower also gives psyche guidance and direction on how to survive her journey to the underworld. As with all of us traveling to and fro the underworlds of our lives, instruction can be found through various forms.
Anyways, psyche is given the instruction one version of the story goes like this…The advice: "Psyche, there is another way to finish this task. Go into the underworld via the Vent of Dis. Take coins with you for the ferryman. Take two cakes for the three-headed dog; one to let you into the underworld, and one to let you out again." And then the tower warns her saying, "Three times you will be asked for help, Psyche. You must harden your heart to pity, refuse, and go on." And so Psyche does. Three times she is asked by very pathetic creatures or people to stop for a moment and help. Each time she remembers the advice. She says "No" and she walks on. She gives one of the coins to the ferryman who ferries her across. Even as she's going across the River Styx, a pathetic man says, "Just hold my hand and pull me across. I didn't have a coin." But she ignores his plea. There was one other piece of advice from the tower. "Psyche, once you get the beauty ointment in the box, DON'T OPEN THE BOX!" (Laughter)
…And what happens- Psyche enters the underworld, gives the three-headed dog one cake, fills the box with beauty, gives the three-headed dog another cake, comes back across the river (because she has one more coin) and returns to the upper world. All of the advice that the tower gave her was good. Psyche, having done exactly what the tower told her understands that, if she had stopped to help, she would have had to lend a hand. In each hand she had one cake and one coin. Had she lost what she was holding, she would not have had the means to return from the underworld.
I read this and thought and so…what’s the point to this myth tale? And then I ran across this…and the moral to this posting:
People in the transition often have limited amounts of strength, health or energy as they go into the underworld. For example, the story of Psyche speaks to people living with cancer. They say, "Cancer was a cure for my co-dependency. Cancer was a way in which I could say to people, "I can't do that." The ability to say "No" is one of the challenges for a feeling man or the feminine psyche. When other people expect you to always be there for them, and you break form by saying "No," you create a crisis in a relationship. It may be that you need to not stay in the underworld of your own depression or your own addiction or your own whatever it is, it is there. Addiction, illness, and depression are images of the underworld that you need to get through in order to get out. This liminal period of transition is a very long one. The tasks to be done keep on growing. It's hard. It's scary. If you're going to make it through this transition to the new phase of your life in which you have integrated the new you, with all that you are for the next phase of your life, you've got to often learn to say "No." Otherwise the people who have expectations of you will use your energy. Say "No," and they'll say, "You're selfish." Psyche manages to do all of that. She returns to the upper world. She's no longer in the underworld. She has made it through.
So at the end of this first posting…I impart a lesson that I feel I was blessed to come across tonight. A modern version of the ancient trickster figure sits and attempts to understand how to not only sit with the tension of opposites, but to overcome his images and participation of Addiction, illness, and depression as well. If you find yourselves a similar time in your lives, I encourage you to do the same.
Trickster figures are very well known in my life. Many of the interesting figures I have followed in my lifetime for me in this world would fall into this category. From the numerous comedians (in my opinion the modern version of the story tellers that were probably considered heretics in past generations) to folk singers who tell a tale of possibility and give messages of change in various forms to the voices arising from politics and even the local Non-profit leaders. My generation has made whole industries originating from trickster figures. Much of the Internet, entertainment industry and the “Me” (as Time magazine so effectively made Man of the year a few short years ago) generation(s) are made up of figures that are modern trickster figures.
I watched a documentary on Gonzo journalist Hunter Thompson today. There were depictions of Trickster figures everywhere throughout the video and especially his life. The baby boom generation must have needed a myriad of powerful and well defined trickster figures. The 60’s and 70’s in the western hemisphere have been depicted as such a turbulent time of much needed changes for generations to come.
Very…and I mean…very…generally trickster figures are the deity breaker of the rules of the gods or nature, sometimes maliciously (for example, Loki) but usually, albeit unintentionally, with ultimately positive effects. Often, the rule-breaking takes the form of tricks (e.g. Eris) or thievery. Tricksters can be cunning or foolish or both; they are often funny even when considered sacred or performing important cultural tasks.
I am no different. For the majority of individuals that have known me intimately in some capacity of my life, I am a trickster figure of sorts…thus the name of this Blog (sirmockalot). I feel it coursing through my veins. I identify with it and ultimately this term will go down as a powerful archetype for my life…often bordering on destruction, but always present for changes and what I have perceived as miracles of change in my existence.
With that being said I sit in what depth psychology or whoever coined the term…holding the tension of opposites phase of my life. I am most joyful for being in Colorado, but have current fears that the changes that are needed to make this move happen aren’t happening quick enough to survive the move.
Many of my world witnessed my last few years. I had many struggles as we all do. But as I was leaving Houston, I had many areas of my life going the ways that I would want. However as a typical trickster figure usually does, I rolled the dice and changed the rules of my life. I moved to Denver. This was partially done for preservation sake and partially done as an example to my world that I would not sit in any area of my life without total freedom to pick my path. I was beginning to pick up steam as a therapist in preaching to whoever crossed my path to go for whatever someone felt was a path calling them. The same could be said for individuals surrounding my life.
So far the trip has been pretty much what I imagined. I have caught up with old friends, spent countless hours both enjoying and being healed by nature, stopped for a moment my world from spinning with modern responsibilities and mostly felt the freest I have ever felt in life. But the move has also come with a trip to the underworld of uneasiness and uncertainty. I live with limited savings that separate me from homelessness. I sit with pains of loss and grief that continue to bite at my psyche. I sit with breaking down the majority of ideas that were taught to me from a little kid about security of family, employment and finances. I sit with the unknown. This has been hard for someone that was always taught to be responsible and make a better future for oneself…after all this is the painted American dream landscape right. And after all I have spent 37 years in school and making sacrifices to create stability and have the “American Dream”. You get the picture…I love being back in Colorado, but it has come with sacrifice and a shadow side.
I was sitting here thinking what was the message I desired to give in the first actual blog that I have ever written? I have set the picture for you….for the slow ones…or confused due to my ADHD style of writing….! I am a trickster figure in need of understanding my own changes instead of attempting to making changes in my environment through my (usually) trickster ways. In pondering this today, I came across a story that might be good to tell….for it has given me hope for tonight.
What I ran across was part of the story of Psyche. Properly for this story and my life, psyche is the Greek word for soul. It's also the Greek word for butterfly. Again very briefly, one version behind the story of Psyche is PSYKHE (or Psyche) was the goddess of the soul, wife of Eros the god of love. She was once a mortal princess whose astounding beauty earned the ire of Aphrodite when men turned their worship from goddess to girl. Aphrodite commanded Eros make Psykhe fall in love with the most hideous of men, but the god himself fell in love with her and carried her away to his secret palace. However Eros hid his true identity, and commanded her never to look upon his face. Psykhe was eventually tricked by her jealous sisters into gazing upon the face of god, and he abandoned her. In her despair, she searched throughout the world for her lost love, and eventually came into the service of Aphrodite. The goddess commanded her perform a series of difficult labours which culminated in a journey to the Underworld. In the end Psykhe was reunited with Eros and the couple wed in a ceremony attended by the gods.
I want to focus on part of Psyche’s journey to the underworld. Before psyche goes to the underworld, she plans on throwing herself off a high tower in order to fulfill one of the acts that Aphrodite has commanded her to do…which was to go to the underworld. Remembering that Psyche is doing on of this for the love of Eros…as I am making this move for the love of both freedom and Colorado. Psyche figured that the only way she knew to travel to the underworld was to kill herself. Long story short, the tower informs Psyche that there is another way. After instructing psyche of the way, the tower also gives psyche guidance and direction on how to survive her journey to the underworld. As with all of us traveling to and fro the underworlds of our lives, instruction can be found through various forms.
Anyways, psyche is given the instruction one version of the story goes like this…The advice: "Psyche, there is another way to finish this task. Go into the underworld via the Vent of Dis. Take coins with you for the ferryman. Take two cakes for the three-headed dog; one to let you into the underworld, and one to let you out again." And then the tower warns her saying, "Three times you will be asked for help, Psyche. You must harden your heart to pity, refuse, and go on." And so Psyche does. Three times she is asked by very pathetic creatures or people to stop for a moment and help. Each time she remembers the advice. She says "No" and she walks on. She gives one of the coins to the ferryman who ferries her across. Even as she's going across the River Styx, a pathetic man says, "Just hold my hand and pull me across. I didn't have a coin." But she ignores his plea. There was one other piece of advice from the tower. "Psyche, once you get the beauty ointment in the box, DON'T OPEN THE BOX!" (Laughter)
…And what happens- Psyche enters the underworld, gives the three-headed dog one cake, fills the box with beauty, gives the three-headed dog another cake, comes back across the river (because she has one more coin) and returns to the upper world. All of the advice that the tower gave her was good. Psyche, having done exactly what the tower told her understands that, if she had stopped to help, she would have had to lend a hand. In each hand she had one cake and one coin. Had she lost what she was holding, she would not have had the means to return from the underworld.
I read this and thought and so…what’s the point to this myth tale? And then I ran across this…and the moral to this posting:
People in the transition often have limited amounts of strength, health or energy as they go into the underworld. For example, the story of Psyche speaks to people living with cancer. They say, "Cancer was a cure for my co-dependency. Cancer was a way in which I could say to people, "I can't do that." The ability to say "No" is one of the challenges for a feeling man or the feminine psyche. When other people expect you to always be there for them, and you break form by saying "No," you create a crisis in a relationship. It may be that you need to not stay in the underworld of your own depression or your own addiction or your own whatever it is, it is there. Addiction, illness, and depression are images of the underworld that you need to get through in order to get out. This liminal period of transition is a very long one. The tasks to be done keep on growing. It's hard. It's scary. If you're going to make it through this transition to the new phase of your life in which you have integrated the new you, with all that you are for the next phase of your life, you've got to often learn to say "No." Otherwise the people who have expectations of you will use your energy. Say "No," and they'll say, "You're selfish." Psyche manages to do all of that. She returns to the upper world. She's no longer in the underworld. She has made it through.
So at the end of this first posting…I impart a lesson that I feel I was blessed to come across tonight. A modern version of the ancient trickster figure sits and attempts to understand how to not only sit with the tension of opposites, but to overcome his images and participation of Addiction, illness, and depression as well. If you find yourselves a similar time in your lives, I encourage you to do the same.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Pages
There is a category called "Pages" to the side of this Blog. I have begun creating list of various links. Please feel free to add to or send me suggestions to add. My vision is to create through my network of various associates a useful and compact list of references.
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